Dear Lord, keep me weak, fragile and frail

Weak –adjective, -er, -est.
1.not strong; liable to yield, break, or collapse under pressure or strain;
2.lacking in bodily strength or healthy vigor

Fragile –adjective
1.easily broken, shattered, or damaged; delicate; brittle; frail: a fragile ceramic container; a very fragile alliance.
2.vulnerably delicate, as in appearance:

Frail -adjective, -er, est.
1.easily broken or destroyed; fragile.

This is not my typical post. There is nothing funny, humorous, or enlightening about this. I have been thinking of a way to put into words something that words can't really do justice to.

Many of you already follow the Dunnam's story. If you don't, I highly recommend it. But with fair warning of the valley this family is currently enduring. www.emmadunnam.blogspot.com . My heart absolutely breaks everytime I open their blog and find a new post. I take a moment before reading to mentally prepare myself for what I know will not be good news. I can not imagine (nor do I want to) what they are going through.

The brief story... They have a little girl (Kaelin's age) that was diagnosed with Batten's disease at 18 months old. This is such an awful disease. They have gone to church with us forever and Christy worked with me at Sterling.

Where they are now... holding onto their little baby girl knowing her days are very numbered. She will probably not make it through the rest of the week (but we thought that last week also). God has big plans for her because she is still here with us.

As a parent, this would be my absolute worst nightmare. The Dunnam's are so strong. They have 3 other children. Their oldest daughter has strength that most adults will never experience. The parents are held up purely by the strength of God.

So, I started thinking about strength the other day when someone said "I would love to have a tenth of their strength."

Well, I can honestly say that I don't want any of their strength. I pray to be weak, fragile and frail. You don't get that kind of strength by accident. God only gives that kind of strength to those who need it and I hope I NEVER need it. I want to remain weak (not strong; liable to yield, break, or collapse under pressure or strain), fragile (easily broken, shattered, or damaged; delicate; brittle; frail: a fragile ceramic container; a very fragile alliance), and frail (easily broken or destroyed). Someone with these attributes could not endure what they are going through (at least those are my thoughts).

The weak, fragile, frail person in me realizes:
1) Emma should be in Kaelin's Sunday school class, but she isn't.
2) The parents should not have to be clinging onto every breath their baby takes wondering if there will be another one to come
3) The other children are experiencing heartache at such a young age
4) There are no words to adequately express my deep sorrow to the parents... really, what can you say or do you just not say anything

Although I realize God is with them during every step and every breath and without him they would not be able to hold up as they endure this journey. My heart breaks for them because they are going through what most of will never go through (and for this I am very thankful).

So, as you find yourself sitting around, take a minute to pray for their family and sweet little Emma. They defintely need it. I will spend my time praying for them and thanking God for not making me strong.